Quacked » On the Web

Q3 Duckling Edition: My Name is …

Patrick — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 08:01:51 +0000

You know him well.

Do you recognize the kid in the above picture? Here are a few hints: 1) He’s a current Ducks player; 2) This picture is from 1996; 3) Just a guess, but he probably speaks a couple of languages. Still can’t figure it out? Click through and find out.

His name is Jonas. He’s carrying our wheel. We thank him for all he has shown us, and yes, this is indeed how we feel. Lame Weezer puns notwithstanding, those lyrics have in them the truth if you look hard enough. Jonas Hiller is carrying our proverbial wheel as the now-undisputed number one goaltender. I’m sure Bob Murray will thank him for showing him how much he could save by switching to Geico choosing him as the starter (roughly $1.5 million a year if you compare his cap hit to Jean-Sebastien Giguere’s and discount the Vesa Toskala and Jason Blake salaries that will be off the books… eventually).

Searching on eBay has again yielded a gem: a peewee card of Jonas Hiller, a pre-rookie issue of sorts (Hiller would have been 13 or 14 years old at the time). Although I can’t personally vouch for this item’s veracity, a quick look at the photo seems to dissuade any notion of forgery or trickery on the part of the seller. If it is indeed our beloved butterfly prodigy depicted, this card would make an excellent conversation piece and surely be a most esoteric addition to any Ducks memorabilia collection.

While cruising around eBay, I also uncovered a particularly vivid tie that is sure to class up any formal attire its purchaser deigns to wear (image, if the auction is gone).

Remember: you’re never quite so sharply dressed as when you’re dressed in purple. And jade.

SOURCE LINKS

“1996 peewee JONAS HILLER anaheim ducks NHL” (ebay.com)

Mad Monday: God Hates Marty Turco Hockey

Patrick — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:07:01 +0000

(RICHARD WOLOWICZ/GETTY IMAGES)

Oh, Westboro Baptist Church, you’re always out to top your last fit of insanity — and some would argue, inanity — aren’t you? But why go to such lengths when the world already recognizes your psychopathy and adores you for it (much in the same way it adores a sharp stick in the eye)? We will concede that Marty Turco’s play sometimes makes small children and certain Texan bloggers cry, but to denounce our favorite sport is an affront to all of its fans, rooting for the wrong team or otherwise.

In the interests of fair journalism, it wouldn’t be right to pass judgment before we hear from WBC on the matter:

God H8s Ur hockey! Valor Pl. & Olive St. WBC will picket your stupid, cold (you will truly pray for these days of being in the cold hockey games when you burn in hell for eternity) violent, time-wasting hockey game – your SPORT. You know there will be only a few more of these entertainment events before God lets Obama simply destroy this nation. God does not have anything good to say about your sport(s).

At this point it seems that no person, profession or faith is safe from the harsh (if uneducated) verbal barbs this organization uses to poison the world. Luckily for Turco, it seems he was already on WBC’s shitlist.

Fellow hockey fans: is it time we take to the streets and fight back?

(NOTE: The links provided herein are for informational purposes ONLY. Quacked does not endorse any opinions contained on external sites.)

SOURCE LINKS

“Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently” (deadspin.com)

Qwednesday the 20th: Luck and Larceny

Patrick — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 08:30:10 +0000

Digging into the well of retro-reminiscence once more, this Qwednesday (still working on that name) please find enclosed a reminder of the way we were. You know, a team that needed sensational goaltending on a nightly basis because it couldn’t score to save its life. (It seems as though not much has changed it that department of late, although the goaltenders are not bailing the team out as frequently.)

If there exists a perfect counterpoint to Petr Sykora’s 5OT goal in the second round in the court of opinion regarding the defining moment of the Mighty Ducks’ 2003 playoff run, this moment would certainly be a contender for the title. Somewhat disappointingly, there does not seem to be a clip accompanied by Chris Cuthbert’s unforgettable cry of “how did that stay out?!” — a glib but accurate summation of Jean-Sebastien Giguere’s entire body of work that spring. The video drops in around the 2:30 mark, but Ducks fans will want to watch this one all the way through, even though the soundtrack isn’t English.

So now you decide: was the save complete and unmitigated luck? Or do you believe luck is just the residue of skill? No matter what the call, it’s clear that the video does not present a compelling case against over-sized shoulder pads.

Bruins Blog: Hero Worship (sort of)

Patrick — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:28:46 +0000

(JIM MCISAAC/GETTY IMAGES)

Our comrade Greg Ezell from Something’s Bruin has composed a love letter of sorts to resident Ducks tough guy and 70s porn star doppelganger George Parros. We are more than inclined to agree with Ezell’s assessment of “The Stache” (referring in this case to the actual hair on Parros’ face), but offer a kindly dissenting opinion on his view of “The Stache” as a player. Giving props where they’re due, Ezell gets a bunch for his channeling of Family Guy with the use of the phrase “mustache aficionado”. Well played, sir.

Whether or not you’re a Ducks fan it’s a good read, so click through and check it out if you haven’t yet. Be sure to peruse the rest of the blog, too, which includes a preview of tonight’s Ducks/Bruins tilt. When you’re done reading, click on the top link of the NHL Blogroll (that’s us!) to come right back here.

SOURCE LINKS

“A Letter To George Parros” (somethingsbruin.net)

Qwednesday the 13th: eBay gold… or is it jade?

Patrick — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:00:01 +0000

Happy belated New Year, Ducks fans — we hope it’s been as prosperous for you as it has been for the Ducks to-date. Beginning today, we will use the occasional Wednesday to revel in the many quirky ways the world wide web bestows its splendors on all things Anaheim Ducks. The name Qwednesday owes its genesis to a complete lack of creativity, and to that end I am entirely open to suggestions for a better moniker.

Today’s find, while not entirely groundbreaking, does a perfunctory job serving that niche market of fans wanting new logos on old jerseys. It also portends a stern warning to those who think that any combination of opiates, sewing and purple fabric can produce marketable results. The complete lack of bidding on the product evidently reaffirms that notion.

Interestingly enough, the item’s condition is listed as “new”. I’m not sure if that indicates that the individual components used to create this horrific hybrid were all new or if the seller is coyly suggesting that this is a new style of Ducks jersey (which is itself a bastardized but still accurate version of the term).

Eggplant is the new orange. Thanks eBay.

SOURCE LINKS

“Anaheim Ducks Adults Purple Jersey X-Large XL” (ebay.com)

Christmas Comes Early – Thanks Cole!

Patrick — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:16:00 +0000

What would a great team be without its rivals as a measuring stick of success? Our friend Cole over at the other 6 seconds (warning: it’s a Stars blog) has paid tribute to perhaps the single greatest moment in Ducks franchise history that doesn’t involve any shiny silver trophies — Petr Sykora’s 5OT winner in Dallas during the 2003 playoffs. Coincidentally, it is Cole’s least favorite Stars-related moment, and he explains why:

To add insult to injury, the most melancholy I’ve ever felt as a Stars fan was during that post-series handshake. It was bad enough being eliminated by a low seeded division rival. It was also the final game that Derian Hatcher ever played in a Stars sweater.

Fittingly, Cole had listed the same moments when I asked him this summer to name his least favorite Ducks-Stars memory. Unfortunately for the Ducks, Dallas got a measure of revenge in the 2008 playoffs by eliminating (and thus dethroning) them swiftly in the opening round.

Hit the break to see clips of Sykora’s monumental goal and the final few minutes of the series. The videos are clad appropriately in eggplant and jade to celebrate the occasion. When you’re done, I suggest taking a peek at Cole’s blog to find the answers to life’s great questions (seriously, he has a page for that). While you’re there, don’t miss his insightful look at The 5 Biggest Myths in Hockey. Damn, he has one hell of a blog.

Now it’s time for some Disney Ducks delight. Enjoy!

Ilya Bryzgalov: Tsar of the Show

Patrick — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:53:26 +0000

Few athletes throughout the annals of sport have managed to raise the bar of excellence for on-field play to legendary heights, the likes of which mere mortals can only dream — fewer still have done the same for the pre/post-game interview, arguably professional sport’s weakest link.

Enter Ilya Bryzgalov: interview superstar (or super-tsar, if you will). Proving to be equally adept at delivering both saves and quips, Bryz treats the Score to a few gems regarding the Canadian climate. Also note that during the interview, he transitions from one voice to another.

Hit the break to see Bryzgalov and Jean-Sebastien Giguere describe the designs featured on their respective masks.

Prophetically (although perhaps less so given that he had already made it to the NHL at the time of the following interview), Bryzgalov points to [the Walt Disney character] Scrooge McDuck on his mask and intimates, “that’s a rich guy… rich duck. I want to be.”

(Sidebar: Look for this video to surface again in the not-too-distant future when Quacked runs a feature on the pictorial history of Ducks goalie masks.)

To be honest, it is a little disappointing that McDonald’s hasn’t contacted him yet to do some voiceover work for them.

LINKS

“Ilya Bryzgalov Score Interview” (Video) (youtube.com)

“Ducks goalie masks” (Video) (youtube.com)

Stephens: Ducks have built legacy of success

Patrick — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 02:20:45 +0000

NHL.com correspondent Eric Stephens checks in with two articles about the Ducks as part of the site’s 30 Teams in 30 Days feature. The first takes a look at the Ducks’ recent history (on and off the ice) and evaluates some top prospects:

The fact is the savvy GM saw no reason to tear things down when his team was sitting outside the playoff picture at the trade deadline last March. And with Niedermayer and Selanne back for perhaps a final season – something that’s now closer to reality – Murray is again willing to go for the Cup while also building for the future.

The second feature is an overview of Bobby Ryan’s career, from the weight of his status of number two overall pick to his Calder Trophy caliber 2008-09 season:

No longer is Ryan just “The Guy Picked After Sidney Crosby” or “The Guy Who Really Isn’t Bobby Ryan.” A 31-goal, 57-point rookie season and being a Calder Trophy finalist helps move people past those signposts of his path of life.

Given that the pace of the off-season has slowed, these two articles give fans something to be excited about for the upcoming year of Ducks hockey. The piece on Ryan is especially interesting as it includes a few quotes about wanting to establish his own identity in pro hockey.

LINKS

“Under-the-radar Ducks have built legacy of success” (nhl.com)

“Bright future helps Ryan in addressing the past” (nhl.com)